Review: Tenga Eggs

Sunday, Nov 10, 2013



“What are those eggs?”

We get this question quite a bit at the Dynamo pop-ups. And it’s true — the Tenga Eggs, with their colorful “shells” and stretchy sleeves, are quite intriguing! Our reviewer, fischer pete, was kind enough to give them a try, and he shared his thoughts with us below:Tenga Egg

Don’t Leggo Mah Egg … O!

The very first bird that scientifically met the criteria for being classified as “Gallus gallus domesticus” must have hatched from a round white shell in the same fashion as all of its subsequent descendants. Ergo: the egg came first. Logic for the win!

… And speaking of coming (first, last or otherwise), I will never look at the common chicken egg quite the same way again.

The straight story is that I’ve been envious of both gal-pals and partners for a long time. The wide array of creative and brilliant devices I’ve seen marketed to assist women on their search for a stronger orgasm is staggering. When my friend Hope suggested that I give masturbatory sleeves a go I was initially skeptical. Neither glowing nor battery operated, the idea of such a simple enhancement to the pleasure naturally at hand seemed (truthfully) a bit disappointing.

Fortunately, the clever and discrete design of the Tenga Egg did amuse and intrigue me into reading the product’s label. Boasting six distinct interior texture options to add a unique variety of sensations to an experience that had become somewhat routine since puberty, this simple plastic packaging now had my amorous attention. Always down for a unique experience, I selected the “Silky” and “Spider” varieties and decided to do some … research.

One lazy morning I decided to forgo traditional breakfast in bed and enjoy that strange new brand of egg I’d been eying. After peeling the brightly convincing grid shrinkwrap on the “Spider” variety and cracking what seemed like the least colorful plastic Easter egg shell of all time, I discovered a tidy self-contained package of personal pleasure. The masturbatory sleeve itself was a smooth bulb of elastomer that seemed a bit small for the job until I discovered how very stretchy it was. A small single-serving packet of lubricant was conveniently included and provided the final ingredient to the feast of solo sensations I enjoyed that AM.

I saved the “Silky” sleeve for my partner to play with and enjoyed the awkward giggles and explorations that novel new toys bring to our bed. Predictably, “Silky” provided a much less intense sensation than the web of ridges in the first sleeve, but the jokes about “huevos” and “cocks” provided a plethora of opportunities to experience my favorite sexual act: laughter.

Tenga EggsMy only true disappointment in Tenga’s Incredible Egg was the amount of waste. The pleasant convenience of a disposable container for the majority of spilled “egg-white” plus a notable amount of excess packaging may be slightly upsetting to eco-friendly folk, and I think Tenga might do well to serve their yolkless treasures in a clearly marked recyclable outer shell.

I can happily say, though, that light-up and vibrating feminine appliances inspire less envy these days. As an occasional treat, I absolutely plan to explore the other four texture options Tenga’s Eggs have to offer.

Note: Tenga Eggs’ elastomer sleeves can be rinsed and used (carefully) up to five times, but may tear before then with more vigorous use. Many folks prefer them as one-time “stocking stuffer” style treats.

And there you have it! As handy masturbation sleeves, Tenga Eggs can’t be beat! (OK, we’ll stop with the terrible puns, too.)